March 13th, 2014
I'm pregnant! Just got an ultrasound and watched my baby move around in my tummy. They are thinking size wise that my baby is measuring around 10 weeks
January 1st, 2014
|02:50 pm - Comfort Zone|
I'm comfortable sitting around being lazy and playing video games. I'm comfortable being quiet so I don't mess up any conversation or create any weird looks. It's easier to leave my comfort zone to clean but extremely hard to leave it to talk to other people.
August 1st, 2013
|12:08 pm - Yay new job!|
I started working at Warm Hearts Day Care 7/30/2013
June 24th, 2013
Woke Dustin up today. It was really hard, he must have been in a deep sleep. It really really reminded me of trying to wake mom up. Hard core. I almost got mad at him thinking he was playing a joke.
May 31st, 2013
|06:38 am - ayla|
First sentence is "Kiss it mommma!" Right after she bit herself on the arm.
May 1st, 2013
|11:34 pm - Excited|
So I am pretty darn excited right now, I might even have trouble sleeping. I'm always on the look out for ways I can make a quick buck on the internet so when one asked for my phone number I didn't even blink. They called me today while I was out with Tom and Eric. Melanie Ferguson said that there would be a live presentation at 8pm. It lasted for about an hour and I found out there was a catch; there is always a catch. 47 dollars for a standard membership. I don't have any money and I'm not going to be able to convince my husband to give me money for what could be a scam. I asked if it is so easy to make money like this if I could just send you my work without the training aide if I could make up the money that way to give to them. They said it would be cool as long as I was willing to do their promoting thing which also requires a membership fee of 10 dollars. Now 10 dollars I can convince my husband to give up, especially for an opportunity like this. Anyways he just spent 50 dollars we don't have any way on frisbee golf discs.
Yesterday I was complaining that I wanted to go play frisbee golf and today we went out and played. We took Ayla with us AND the dog and we invited his buddy, Eric. We went and played over at Jefferson Barracks. It was very wooded and hilly. A very bad idea to bring the stroller. But we made it, and we found morels! I'm super excited about that. Tom wants to try and grow them and then sell them for a profit!
Geeze. Imagine if this turns out to be legit. And what if I can publish my art through them. Dreams coming true right here. Should I get my hopes down, should I not be excited? I want to be excited. I want this to happen. I'll do all the promoting they want. Work work work from HOME?!?! YES MA'AM.
April 30th, 2013
Today was better than yesterday. Felt a little stir crazy today. I wanted to go play frisbee golf at the park, but instead we went and watched Tom's cousin Tori play a soccer game. They won 2-1 and Tom ranted for a while about how highschool sport teams don't play by the right rules. Jan told me she was leaving to come back to USA tomorrow. Weirdly I feel like maybe this time...I don't know. Trying not to get any hopes up because she is so darn good at bringing em down. Wonder how Trisha is taking this. I said hi to her in facebook chat but she didn't reply. Is she mad at Jan? Why shouldn't she be...I don't know what I even want her to think. I hope Jan isn't expecting her kids to run up to her and say they automatically forgive her. It's quite likely they are pretty angry with her. Haven't really talked to Trish about Jan at all. Weeeird subject matter. I'm not tired, but I'm still stir crazy for something to do, so I guess I'm going to go to bed.
April 29th, 2013
Today was up and down. I feel a little better sick wise. And a lot less irritable today. Went to DFS to turn in the review for food stamps. Yesterday Ayla drank out of the toilet twice. Talked about Dustin a little bit after DFS. Need to go to the DMV and explain to them that they made a mistake and they need to fix it probably sometime this week. Also need to go down to St. Clair for my OBGYN apt. So not looking forward to it. All of the driving and gas money going down the drain is troubling. Blugh. I'm tired. Going to bed now.
April 28th, 2013
|08:26 pm - GRRR.|
I feel lethargic. Irritable. Depressed. The house is a pig stye and I just can't seem to find the ambition to do much about it. It could be the steroids I'm taking but it seems slightly unlikely. Got a call from MIL today, talking to me about DFS. She says that if Dad does go to take Dustin away that they would check for available family members first before someone random. That makes me feel better and worse all at the same time. The same problems with the house are there and the same problems with arguments with Tom are there as well. He says mine and Dustin's social security money is different; different circumstances. Where as I moved out and no one looked, followed, payed attention he thinks Dustin's situation is different. I moved out. Dustin will move out I can't see the social security money being any different with him. I just can't win an argument with Tom even if I am right. Then there is the confrontation with Dad which I know is coming up. If I weren't so tired maybe just thinking about it would drive me to an anxiety attack. I hate him and I don't use the world lightly. Yet I love him. FUCK THAT LOVE HATE SHIT. >.< Darn confusing. MIL says she can't stand Dustin being there and I need to get him to my house asap. She says she's talked to someone within DFS and they said that if Dustin were to come here they wouldn't make him leave. I just. Everything. *twitch* I don't want to talk to Dad. I don't want to deal with his shit. Nothing against my brother at all. I just hate dealing with Dad. I know if Dustin were to come live with me now, shit would hit the fan. I'd need to get the social security out of his hands some how. For Dustin. and then I'm going to need to convince Dustin how to use that money wisely for future investments. Me making future investments. Coming from me it's a fucking joke. I've got debt. I just ignore it. Oh blagh. Today sucks. Tomorrow: Fuck you too. :(
April 27th, 2013
Today has been stressful. Ayla is really being irritating. I hugged her real big and asked her why she was trying to drive me crazy. She didn't answer just rubbed her eyes. Answer enough. I finally went to the doctor today. I got nasal spray, allergy medicine, steroids, and an inhaler. A lot of stuff for this cough and lung crackle. I feel pretty lethargic, but I'm sick right (excuses excuses). A new chapter came out in one of my favorite stories, all of her chapters are SUPER long. I don't remember all of the story so I'm going back and reading it. There is 37 chapters and I'm on chapter 9. It's so hard to read now that I've got a baby, but I guess it's good. I've never been able to draw out a book like I do now that I have her. It is really different writing in here knowing you're going to read it. I keep going back and erasing crap. Kind of like this whole thought right here. Anyways, my throat hurts. Don't know where else to take this so it's done.